Remember on the old "Bewitched" shows when Samantha would wiggle her nose and go into high speed to clean her house? If there were a hidden camera in my house today, that is what you would see! Today is Mother's Day Out, which means I have exactly 4 1/2 hours to do the 95 million things I want to do by myself! It's such a big deal that I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, thinking of all the things I could do today. Forcing myself back to sleep for a couple more hours, i woke up to "Mahhhhmmmaaaa!" coming from upstairs. I hit the floor running, dashing to the kitchen to start the coffee pot then flying up the stairs to greet my grinning toddler who was sitting up in her crib with her arms outstretched, ready to face the day.
After feeding her her "kikiss" (toddler-speak for biscuit) and planting her in front of Clifford, the Big Red Dog, I ran to take my shower and get dressed. Which reminded me, I need to return the tile samples we bought for the bathroom. Maybe I could run those by after dropping her off at preschool...but that is sort of out of the way when I wanted to drive out to my friend/designer's office where she has fabrics for me to look at for the sofa we have picked out. That is 20 miles the other direction. Hmmm... And I'm supposed to have lunch with another friend back near home before picking up my daughter at 2pm. And I also want to update my blog, jot down some notes for a talk I want to prepare, tweek some things on my web site and select which pictures of our precious one to include in Christmas cards this year. And by the way, I could throw some loads of laundry in while doing all of these other things...
Yep, that's the mind of a Mom getting dressed and planning her day during Mother's Day Out! The good news is, my friend/designer wasn't in her office this morning so that task was postponed. And the tile isn't an emergency, so that will wait. I obviously chose to make an entry in my blog, so there you have it! But lest you think I am relaxing, there is a load of laundry in the washer, sheets in the dryer, the printer is printing the photos of my daughter while I work on this and I stopped to mop the kitchen floor while heating my own breakfast which I forgot to eat earlier!
Ah, the holidays. I am right in there with all of you trying to pack too much into my days. I have a mind that constantly forks and it requires quite a bit of managing. All the things that I try to help clients manage, I also have to manage myself!
My biggest "thing" in life is to always keep things as uncomplicated as possible. During the holidays, my house will not be the most fabulously decorated one on the street. I will not host any elaborate parties, preferring to have lunch or coffee with one or two friends at a time. We will not go bananas fighting crowds to buy our 22-month-old Christmas presents she won't use or appreciate (at least, her MOM won't!) and there won't be any garland on our SUV. Instead, we will have some nice decorations that we enjoy, a pretty Christmas tree, and an exchange of simple presents that we really want and will truly enjoy and use. We will spend time with family and friends and take lots of pictures.
Will I still have crazy days like today? You bet. We go to Mother's Day Out two days a week! And what's my point, you ask? My point is this: if you have days like mine today, sometimes you just have to go with it. But know your limits and forgive yourself if the entire mental "to-do" list doesn't get checked off. Really, three weeks from now will you even remember that you didn't get all of the Christmas cards in the mail today, or that you only ran three errands instead of five? I know I won't! So now I think I'll go have another cup of coffee and look through a magazine for a minute. Oh yeah, I was going to sort and toss old magazines today, too...
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Sometimes all you can do is wait!
I've been thinking a lot lately about those times when you really can't do anything about a particular situation. In the last few months, my 20-month-old daughter has had a couple of bad bouts of wheezing (we don't want to use that nasty "a" word!) and even though I can give her medicated breathing treatments, there is a period of time during which the wheezing does not subside. What do we do? Make her as comfortable as possible and wait.
There are more extreme times, like going through a divorce when it wasn't what you wanted, or suffering a debilitating illness that cannot be cured quickly or that may not be curable at all.
There are the day-to-day issues, like trying to lose weight sensibly, waiting for the call saying "You're hired," wanting to be in a relationship when you're not, and any of the many life questions you are still waiting to have answered.
What do you do? You wait. And how do you wait? You can wait actively, trying harder and harder to control an outcome when you know that realistically you can't. You can wait passively -- just become a lump and bury your face in a pillow and hope things get better. (Actually I don't think that's all bad for a finite period of time, if it helps you get to acceptance.)
The healthiest way to to deal with disappointment over that which you have no control is to surrender and accept that what is, is. Only then can you begin to take steps to make the situation tolerable. When my dad was diagosed with terminal cancer, I watched him initially go through the stages of anger and sadness, but never denial. He knew the prognosis and he knew his options. He opted for chemotherapy even though in his case it didn't offer much hope because he felt that it would make the progression of the disease more tolerable. And in the 22 months that he survived before it took his life, he talked with each of us about his wishes, made all of the final arrangements and provisions that he thought necessary, and said the things that he needed to say to people. I felt that he used his waiting time very well.
I'm reminded of a few key bible stories where God made huge promises but required the recipients to wait. Abraham was told that his descendants would inherit the promised land. Abraham made the decision to initiate the exodus, but he never saw the final goal. King David had to first wander the desert for fourteen years (14 years!) before being delivered and receiving his place of honor. (I, on the other hand, get very impatient if I wait 15 minutes for my hair appointment.)
So the next time you find yourself waiting when you really don't think you should have to, think of Abraham. He didn't see the reward, but hundreds and thousands of his descendants did. You may reap great things during this time that you probably wouldn't otherwise. When I wait for my daughter to recover from wheezing, she does, but during the waiting period we get to do lots of extra cuddling. When my dad waited for relief from cancer, it came (death can be such a blessing) and during the process he was able to bond with family in a way that had never come easily for him in the past. I waited 41 years to meet my future husband, all the while wondering why I was the only person on the planet who didn't have someone! It was worth the wait.
"Good things come to those who wait?" Absolutely...
There are more extreme times, like going through a divorce when it wasn't what you wanted, or suffering a debilitating illness that cannot be cured quickly or that may not be curable at all.
There are the day-to-day issues, like trying to lose weight sensibly, waiting for the call saying "You're hired," wanting to be in a relationship when you're not, and any of the many life questions you are still waiting to have answered.
What do you do? You wait. And how do you wait? You can wait actively, trying harder and harder to control an outcome when you know that realistically you can't. You can wait passively -- just become a lump and bury your face in a pillow and hope things get better. (Actually I don't think that's all bad for a finite period of time, if it helps you get to acceptance.)
The healthiest way to to deal with disappointment over that which you have no control is to surrender and accept that what is, is. Only then can you begin to take steps to make the situation tolerable. When my dad was diagosed with terminal cancer, I watched him initially go through the stages of anger and sadness, but never denial. He knew the prognosis and he knew his options. He opted for chemotherapy even though in his case it didn't offer much hope because he felt that it would make the progression of the disease more tolerable. And in the 22 months that he survived before it took his life, he talked with each of us about his wishes, made all of the final arrangements and provisions that he thought necessary, and said the things that he needed to say to people. I felt that he used his waiting time very well.
I'm reminded of a few key bible stories where God made huge promises but required the recipients to wait. Abraham was told that his descendants would inherit the promised land. Abraham made the decision to initiate the exodus, but he never saw the final goal. King David had to first wander the desert for fourteen years (14 years!) before being delivered and receiving his place of honor. (I, on the other hand, get very impatient if I wait 15 minutes for my hair appointment.)
So the next time you find yourself waiting when you really don't think you should have to, think of Abraham. He didn't see the reward, but hundreds and thousands of his descendants did. You may reap great things during this time that you probably wouldn't otherwise. When I wait for my daughter to recover from wheezing, she does, but during the waiting period we get to do lots of extra cuddling. When my dad waited for relief from cancer, it came (death can be such a blessing) and during the process he was able to bond with family in a way that had never come easily for him in the past. I waited 41 years to meet my future husband, all the while wondering why I was the only person on the planet who didn't have someone! It was worth the wait.
"Good things come to those who wait?" Absolutely...
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